When Other People Treat You Poorly & why someone is treating you poorly

No Matter How badly people treat you,never drop down to their level,just know you're better and walk away because those who spend their time looking for the faults in others usually make no time to correct their own.

Now the big problem is that why someone is treating you poorly?

Think someone's being mean to you, but you're not really sure why? Think they're up to something or secretly despise you? Whether it's friends, a family member, or people you don't even know, knowing the reason(s) behind someone else's poor treatment of you is an important first step in fixing the problem.

1.. how they act around you:

What are some of the more overt signs that this person is not behaving in a very nice way and has mean-spirited intent? Some of the possible signs might include: gossiping about you to others, ignoring you, saying hurtful things to you, breaking or stealing your stuff, belittling you, setting you up to get into trouble for something you didn't do or say, calling you names, implying that you're not as clever/good-looking/well-connected/valuable, etc. as them, intimidating you, leaving unfriendly/unkind messages about you on social networking sites, or breaking promises they swore they'd meet.

2..Consider how you're feeling:

 What feelings or reactions do their words and actions give rise to in you? If you have a feeling that you're being picked on incessantly, that things being said are aimed at provoking or undermining you, and that everything the person says or does around you leaves you feeling negative, hurt, or demeaned in some way, then it's possible that this person is behaving in a mean way.

3..Ask yourself:

Why do you need validation from them? Do you need them so much that you would have to supplicate them to make yourself better? Its fine if they don't like you, who cares? Remember you are being insecure needy if you care.

4..Ask others:

 Get the opinions of others, especially your parents and friends, so you can decide what to do next or to help you become clearer on why this person is behaving in this manner. Never ask for advice from friends that may dislike the person you're asking them about; there is a risk in this case that they'll only paint the person in a negative light, possibly in order to make you have a fight or continue aggravated interactions with this person. The best people to ask are your parents or spouse, a trusted mentor or very trusted friend, or family; usually you'll find someone who is neutral and external enough from the mean behaviour who is in a position to help you.

5..Confront the person if you know them:

 It's important that you complete the steps above about noting factual evidence of the mean behaviour, considering your ownfeelings, and working through the possibilities before confronting a person. Alleging that someone is being mean carries a lot of emotional weight and if you haven't got your facts sorted, and you accuse rather than express yourself (using "I statements"), then you may make them feel angry or stupid, giving rise to defensiveness in place of a constructive conversation. Be sure that you weren't imagining it and they weren't having a simple one-off venting session; it is better not to turn the proverbial molehill into a mountain. Express to the person how you feel about the mean-spirited behaviour you've witnessed and let them know that you're open to discussing any relevant issues with them if they want to, and that you're especially keen to clear the air should you have said or done anything to upset them.

• Stay calm and don't demand an apology or recite what they said word-for-word; just ask that they be more mindful of your feelings.
• If the person doesn't have an answer, give them time to come back to you later - the ball's in their court now and they can either continue being mean or stop.
• If they continue, you know that you've told them how much it hurts you. You have confirmation that they're doing this on purpose now, and you can consider taking other actions.
• If this person is not well known to you, consider having someone else come with you, such as a friend, counsellor, parent, or other trusted person.

6..Avoid contact with the person if the mean behaviour continues:

 After you've tried to sort things out, there isn't much more you can do to influence them to change their mind if they decide to keep being mean. It probably means that either they do actually hate you (which again, is not usually to do with you – mostly it is to do with them) or that they feel they can't lose face by changing their attitude and carry on regardless of the facts before them (again, this is not about you but about their own insecurities). However – and this is the key part – you do not have to put up with someone trying to make you feel bad. Remove yourself from their sphere and don't listen to their taunts, spiteful attitude, or meanness. Ask your friends to stop repeating any of it back to you and suggest that they also remove themselves. Just let people know that you're not going to tolerate it anymore and make a clean cut. Even the meanest person gets bored when their target stops responding and they'll look for someone else to hassle.

7..Move on:

By this stage, if mending fences hasn't worked even though you tried and you've put up a good defensive strategy of avoiding them, then consider acting as if this person isn't a part of your life; just leave them out if it they should have nothing else to do with you . However, it's likely that there will be residual feelings in you about why this even happened and about how it has left you feeling. Remember that there's no point indwelling in the past; you did all you could to reconcile with the person and to stop them being mean to you. Get on with your life and activities, surround yourself by people who aren't mean to you, and focus on what matters to you. By demonstrating that the meanness hasn't tripped you up or spoiled your other relationships, you thrive while the mean person gets to live with their meanness.

• If the mean behaviour continues or escalates, tell someone who can make a positive difference - if it's school, tell a teacher, family member or adult immediately. If it's at work, tell human resources, a trusted boss, or even trusted co-workers. You need to ensure your own safety from retaliation in the instance where it appears that the person in question may have developed a vendetta against you.
• If the mean behaviour continues in the home environment, you're in a more difficult position. If it's siblings, ask your parents to intervene and to set solid rules and limitations on behaviour across the household. If it's a parent, talk to your other parent first. If both parents are defensive and refuse to help you, ask for help outside of the home, such as close family not living with you, a church or school counsellor, a trusted adult mentor, etc. Don't put up with anything that endangers you emotionally or physically.