How to Become a Good Family Member

Do you feel like you don't fit in within your family, or maybe you do but want to know how you can be an even better cog in the familial machine? Then try some of these steps to see if you could be doing more to keep your home life happy!

1)Work out exactly what your role is in the family. 
How old are you? Do you live with your parents? Siblings? Do you live alone? With a child? Do you have flat-mates? If you have brothers and sisters (or similar relatives) what's your age in relation to theirs? Are you the baby, or the role-model?

2)Consider what resources you have to offer. 
That is, what do you have at your disposal (money, materials, skills, time, knowledge, etc.) that you can use to help your family over-all? Even if you are 10 years old with no financial income, you probably know how to wash dishes, put your own clothes in the laundry basket, and entertain your little brother/sister (or at the very least avoid tormenting your older siblings and parents too much).

3)Find out what is expected of you. 
If you are a parent, your children need a heck of a lot from you. If you are a child or teen, you parents need (or would surely appreciate) a fair amount too. What do the other people in your home need you to do? If your parents ask you to take the trash out, a good family member does so; they wouldn't ask if they were just being lazy. Similarly, if you have a sister who wants you to stop using her stuff, an uncle who needs a bit of time alone every Saturday morning, or a struggling mother who could use your help with the rent or the dinner, a good family member will do what they can to relieve these burdens.

4)Know what you expect from the others. 
A big source of conflict between teens and their parents occurs when parents don't know what their teenagers expect of them; a teenager may want more freedom and independence, and the ability to control their life to a greater degree. However, if they don't communicate this with their parents, they are unable to negotiate for it. Younger children may feel the same, and parents, older siblings or other family members may have expectations of younger family members (such as chores, respect or other help) that they haven't conveyed, either. Make sure others in your family know that you're willing to do a little give-and-take.

5)Get to know them. 
What other family members do you have? Being nice to the family you live with is only part of it; make an effort to learn more about further afield family members, and make sure you write them the odd letter, call them from time to time, or send out the occasional email. Be available not just for your younger siblings, but your cousins, nieces and nephews too. Send out Christmas presents and cards, and make an effort to remember birthdays. Don't let your goodness end at home.

6)Finally, look at your over-all life. 
Even when you're not with your family or dealing with them directly, your actions will always reflect on them. If your family is mostly just you and your mother for instance, ask yourself whenever you're out on your own; "what would my mother say if she saw me doing this?" If you're a parent, always think "what would my child think if they knew this is what I got up to?" Never do anything that would make your loved ones ashamed of you; your desire to be good to them shouldn't exist only when they're watching.

Qualities of a Good Family Member:

As a member of the family, your parents and other members of the family has the right to expect of you certain ways of behaving which are acceptable to them.

1. Courtesy
You are expected to be courteous. Courtesy should be extended to all the members of the family. You should be polite at the table, sharing pleasant things with your family. You should be polite with your parents' or brothers' or sisters' visitors. Greet your parents in the morning when you wake up. Greet them also good night before going to bed. Keep smiling and soon you'll find that you'll always have a good day.

2.Respect and Consideration for the members of the family
Respect the rights of others. Each member of the family has . rights. Respect each other's privacy.   Don't try to read your older brother's letter nor try to peep on your sister's diary.

Respect the elders and other older members of the family. Talk to them as often as you can so that they would feel they are loved and needed.

Consideration for others is also important. Be sensitive to the needs of others. Avoid talking too loud or playing noisily if somebody is sleeping or resting. Offer your help to your brother if he is too busy with his homework. Consider the needs and wants of other members of the family. If watching basketball games is your favorite TV pro­gram, ask other members of the family, if they want to watch it,too. Otherwise, be considerate enough to allow them to watch other TV programs of their choice.

3.Loyalty
You owe loyalty to your family. This involves you keeping family secrets, refraining from criticizing your family to outsiders and from giving accounts of happenings that should be considered private. Matters pertaining to your family only should not be discussed even with your best friend.

4. Obedience
You should follow and obey family rules and parental requests and decisions. Respect and follow rules and regulations at home. They are made for your safety, health and welfare. Rules on the time or hour when you should be home, rules on participating in other activities outside school and other rules affecting the welfare of the family should be strictly followed.

5. Sense of Humor
Being cheerful makes you fun to be with. You should be willing to do your work with a smile and you will notice you'll be happy the whole day. Avoid teasing other younger children to avoid quarelling and unpleasant kinds of behavior. Try to be agreeable to all members of the family. You can try to make others laugh by having a good sense of humor. Don't pout, wear that smile and there will always be a cheerful, happy and light atmosphere at home.

6. Good Disposition
You should be able to control your emotions. Don't sulk. Try not to be angry about a slight mistake of other members of the family. Try to solve problems and conflicts by keeping your communication lines open. Find out what makes your parents happy or sad. Do more things that will make them happy. Avoid doing things that will make them sad.


As you learn how to get along well with your brother, sister and parents they, in turn, will find you an acceptable member of the family. All you need is practice. Practice to become a likeable member of your family.