Monday 13 October 2014

Problems Only Redheads Understand


1. You probably have fair skin, too.

Which means you burn in the sun like a plate of bubbling bacon. This, coupled with the fact that redheads are more sensitive to pain makes for a truly screwed up combination.

2. Wearing all the sunscreen.

Yes, most people SHOULD wear sunscreen, but you have to or you literally turn into a lady-shaped tomato. A lady-shaped tomato that bubbles and peels and sometimes even bleeds human blood.

3. Freckles.

Freckles can be adorable but they can also look like someone played connect-the-dots on your face and forgot to put in the numbers. Uh, no, my freckles don't form a giraffe, thanks!

4. People think redheads are sluts.

Yes, the color of our hair determines the odds that we are boning on the regular. That's science!

5. People think redheads are evil.

People are dumb. (And also we are evil.)

6. Being called a ginger.

I don't even know how this became an insult because ginger is delicious and has awesome medicinal healing powers but it is and so don't call me that.

7. You have to stay inside on St. Patrick's Day.

You've been pinched by drunk frat boys to know that it's better for your safety (and theirs) to just stay inside. BETTER YET: stop touching people without their permission! Fun life lesson! Free for you!

8. Non-existent eyebrows.

You've wasted years of your life just penciling those suckers in.

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Sajid

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Has laoreet percipitur ad. Vide interesset in mei, no his legimus verterem. Et nostrum imperdiet appellantur usu, mnesarchum referrentur id vim.

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