How to Find Endless Happiness in Your Relationship

It’s a quite common situation when you’re putting great efforts to get along with your spouse, but your relationship still doesn’t work. You wonder why after so many years of being together you feel unhappy and dissatisfied with your relationship. The truth is that happiness isn’t something that you receive with love. In order to be happy with your beloved both of you should make efforts and work hard. Even when people love each other, they often feel unhappy and aloof simply because they don’t know a few wise things about a happy relationship. Read on to learn several ways to find endless happiness in your relationship.

How to Find Endless Happiness in Your Relationship

1. Pay attention to little things
Now I understand that the importance of details and little things is immense. People often make mistakes when they don’t pay attention to trifles, while they really determine your attitude towards your partner. A cute, inexpensive and unexpected gift, a kind word said to your partner when he needs it and the message that you send him in response are very important things that most people tend to ignore. However, attention to details and small things can do wonders for your relationship and stir up the feeling of happiness. Small and pleasant trifles can really make your day and strengthen the bonds of love between you.

2. Learn to say ‘I love you’ without words
When you learn to pay attention to details it enables you to say ‘I love you’ with your deeds. Sure, it’s important to hear the most important words a person can tell you, but your actions should also display your affection and appreciation. In fact, you don’t need a certain reason to do a good thing. Try to practice kind deeds every day and you’ll see that your partner will give you back. Remember, the more you give the more you receive. Consider the importance of kisses, gentle hugs or a kind smile. Even a cup of coffee served in the morning will show your love and make your partner happier.

3. Meet your partner’s needs
While this rule works both ways, you can take the initiative. All people have some oddities and needs and it’s of critical importance if you’re able to get along with your partner’s personal needs. Learn to reach a compromise regardless of the subject, feel when it’s necessary to give way or leave your partner alone. My husband was often angry with me when I required some ‘me time’ and sat in our bedroom alone for several hours. I didn’t mean to offend him; I just needed to sit in complete silence to restore my inner balance. Luckily, he realized it and learnt to get on with this oddity of mine. Think about your partner’s unusual needs and try to accept them.

4. Always have a talk when you feel it’s necessary
The inability or lack of desire to talk about things that bother you can turn little trifles into great problems. Bear in mind that you accumulate your resentment, dissatisfaction and all the negative emotions. I don’t mean that you should vent your anger on your partner; you just need to have a talk once you feel that something’s going wrong. Our words are very powerful, so why not use them? A common talk can solve all the misunderstandings and disagreements when they are little. When the two of you are always ready to have an open dialog you’ll surely feel much happier in your relationship.

5. Realize that your partner doesn’t belong to you
When you love someone it’s natural that you want to spend every second with the person and know his every step. Some people feel okay about it, but others get greatly irritated with such behavior. For example, I can’t stand when people think that I belong to them and they can intervene with my personal space or manage my time. Your partner isn’t something you can appropriate for yourself; your partner is a full-fledged, mature and self-sufficient individual. You don’t need anyone to complement you. On the contrary, the happiest relationship occurs when two grounded individuals come together and go hand in hand, instead of merging into a single unit.

6. Be friends with your beloved
A happy relationship isn’t always about passion and affection; friendship is also an indispensable part of a happy relationship. Indeed, your beloved is your biggest fan, supporter, husband and, of course, friend. I just adore those moments when my husband and I sit beside the fireplace or in the kitchen and chatter like old acquaintances or laugh or play the fools. These are very special moments that bring us closer and enhance trust and commitment between us. Your man will never tell you that but he appreciates it when you can watch football with him or gorge pizza in front of a late-night movie.

7. Find common goals
When I got married I’ve realized that common goals are the foundation of a strong, long-lasting and happy relationship. Common goals strengthen your bonds and help you understand your partner better. It’s easier to cope with difficulties and setbacks when you know where you’re moving. A common goal can mean everything from buying a new house to moving to another country, but as long as you have a common goal, you’ll surely push forward together. Moreover, when trying to reach your goals, both of you will become team players, which will enhance the feeling of fulfillment and happiness in your relationship.

8. Love everything about your partner, even his shortcomings
For a long time I’ve been fighting against my husband’s drawbacks, I wasted a lot of time, efforts and nerves and it still brought no results. The truth is that you scarcely can change someone. Agree that it’s difficult to change your own habits, and it’s almost impossible to alter someone else’s way of life and thinking. Instead of concentrating on the shortcomings, pay more attention to positive sides of your partner’s personality. If you love someone, accept everything about this person, otherwise your relationship won’t go too far. James Joyce once said a very smart thing about accepting your partner, ‘Love me, love my umbrella’. Remember that.

Here are 10 ways to create true love, and be truly happy in your relationship:

1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.

Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “one,” you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness.

2. See your partner for who he or she really is.

The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.

3. Be willing to learn from each other.

The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.

4. Get comfortable being alone.

In order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.

5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.

Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.

6. Own who you are.

We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn’t get what we were looking for.

True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.

7. Embrace ordinariness.

After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.

8. Expand your heart.

One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.

It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.

9. Focus on giving love.

Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.

10. Let go of expectations.

You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else.

Draw upon your own inner-resources to offer love, attention, and nurturance to yourself when you need it. Then you can let love come to you instead of putting expectations on what it needs to look like.

Even if you’re stuck in an unhappy relationship, don’t hurry to throw your hands up in despair. Make use of the aforementioned tips and do your best to change the situation. With certain efforts it’s not that hard to find endless happiness in your relationship. What are your secrets of a happy relationship?